It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
