worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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