WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
