Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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