I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
