I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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