Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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