Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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