i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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