i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
