i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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