we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
