if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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