at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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