she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
