I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
