hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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