bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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