it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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