So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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