my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
