New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
