dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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