You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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