Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
