just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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