thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
