I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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