tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
nutella sex= disaster
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
