If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
