11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
