I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
