Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Someone signed my nipple.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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