so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
