she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
