He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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