I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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