we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
