WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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