Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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