Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
