it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
