the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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