i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Semen is not good for contacts.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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