hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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