wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
