True but thats because hes a fetus.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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