i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
vagina is talking i cant
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
