Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You've changed since you got that strap on
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
