Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
