i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
