I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's blow job season.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
