Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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