butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
