id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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