The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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