If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
