It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
