Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I still have a little drunk in my system
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
